Three Tickets, Please!

by Pete Kolozsy


How awkward! I have an absurd sense of humor which my wife (bless her) does nothing to discourage. This isn't the first time I've caused trouble.

Once, on a slow rainy day at a fair, I got out of the ticket box of the snake show to check on my 20' Burmese python.  I walked

on the platform, looked in the window and noted that she was just fine. Curled up asleep under the heat lamp.  Then, for no apparent reason, I feigned surprise and shock.  I lifted up the ballycloth of the show and peered underneath...I stood up and looked around perplexed...I started looking underneath concession trailers etc.

All this was duly noted by the surrounding jointees, food vendors and ride jocks.

When asked what was wrong I would reply "NOTHING!"

When asked if the snake was loose I would say "NO!"

Obviously, this convinced everyone that the big maneater was loose and that the owner (myself) had no idea where it was.

Now, in my defense it must be noted that there was absolutely no business on the midway that day due to the pouring rain

(which had been the subject of relentless complaint by all) and that the subsequent closing of the fair early that day may have had no relation whatsoever to my little hoax.


But, the entire crew of the carnival seemed to think I was responsible. (They were actually grateful).

The next day was bright and sunny with tons of people on the midway.

All of whom it seemed wanted to take a peek ("3 tickets, please!") at the "Giant Snake That Busted Outta  the Cage And Ate 3 Kids On The Midway".


Their words, not mine.---

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