"Gal, Are You Making Any Money?"  



May and I didn't do anything all winter but fish and have fun. I guess if she could have become pregnant, she would have had a set of triplets, come fall.

When the season opened again, we were back with Ralph and Lou but rehashing most of the spots, the gross dropped to less than half of the previous year. We hung in there for another year.

Toward the middle of the season, Lou sent 'Ralph the Pitch' down to see May and me. Ralph told us that they had promised the fire chief (the sponsor of the spot) that they would have a girly show and asked May if she would consider working one of the girly shows that they had. Both of them were closed at the time. Ralph said that she didn't have to strip all the way, just down to a G-string.

Not bragging, but May was a sizzling sexpot at that time, with shoulder length black hair and bangs. She looked like Cleopatra.

To make Lou and Ralph happy, she said OK, but just for this week or until you get someone else. This was Monday and because they didn't have any girls, they had left the girly shows down.

Just before six that evening, they had the girly show up and ready to open. May became Stella, the stripper, and before the second night, she was taking it all off and getting a deuce out of every mark that went into the show, plus tips. She grossed twice the amount of money that week that I did with the ten-in-one and the geek show combined, without the headache of feeding and paying all the salaries for the help. Instead of working the girl show for the week, she worked it for the rest of the season.

A few weeks later, my inside man and his wife said that they wished they had the side show and told me of what changes they would make, and so on.  I talked to Lou and Ralph about letting George and his wife take over the ten-in-one and letting May and me have both of the girl shows. He agreed to let them have the ten-in-one and the geek show.

I found a couple of girls to work the other girly show. Knowing that the girly
shows were the magnets that drew the men to the midway for the crooked games to beat, Ralph and Lou welcomed the idea. May and I got out of the side show business and into the girl show business and it paid off.

About the fourth spot, we pulled onto the lot and Bob and Mae Noel were there, putting up their chimpanzee show. May and I walked over and said, "Hello, glad to see you folks again."

Bob said, " Likewise. Hell, we ain't seen you guys for what, two or three years? You still got the ten-in-one?" May spoke up, "Hell, no! We got rid of that worry, work and headache. Now, I'll have you know, I'm Stella by Candlelite, de feature of de girly show."

Mae, Bob's wife asked, "Gal, are you making any money?"  


May replied, "Yeah, a damn sight more than we were making with that workhorse." I spoke up and said, "Here comes the lot man to give us our location. Got to go, talk to you all later."

Well, we opened that night. May with the single 'O' girl show, out grossed mine with two gals.

Bob's show made a killing with his boxing chimps because he had three locals challenge his chimps. He got in three shows, each with a full house.

The next morning, May took a hot shower because the weather was warm.


After she towel dried, she slipped into a pair of cooloffs, wrapped the towel around her head, sat down and had toast and coffee. She then took a folding chair and went out in front of the show to where the sun was shining to dry her hair. In the meantime, I tied up the sidewall around the tent so that the breeze could blow through it and make it a lot cooler inside.

Out back, behind the tent, there was a wooded area with bushes, trees and shrubs. May was sitting in the folding chair out in front of the show still drying her hair. I was sitting on the bally smoking a cigarette, when here comes Bob down the midway with this big gorilla, weighing close to three hundred pounds, handcuffed to his wrist. The reason for the handcuff was because a gorilla's neck is bigger around than its head, so you couldn't put a collar around its neck and chain it. If you did, it would simply slip the collar over its head.

Bob was out giving the gorilla its morning exercise. As they walked by May and me, May looked up and seeing the gorilla, she hollered to Bob, who was about twenty feet away, "Where in the hell did you get that monster, Bob?"

Bob called over, "This is Tommy, that little baby gorilla that you used to nurse. He's almost full grown now."

This prompted May to start talking baby talk to Tommy and he stood up on his hind feet, looked at May and came running to her, dragging Bob behind him. Tommy jumped on her lap, put his arms around her and started smooching on her. About that time, the folding chair collapsed and they wound up on the ground.

May continued to talk baby talk to him and Tommy starting looking through her hair, looking for bugs. He then started picking at her arms and then spread out on his back, wanting May to look for bugs on his chest and belly. May looked him over for a minute, then making like she found one, said, "There's one." She made like she picked it off his chest, then showed him her hand and said, "See here, it's a big one," and made like she put it in her mouth and smacked her lips.

Tommy then rolled over on his belly, wanting her to look on his back. About an hour later, Bob and his wife, along with a dozen doughnuts plus some bananas, finally were able to coax Tommy away from her. I asked her if she was frightened and she said, "Heck, no, I knew that Tommy wasn't about to hurt his mommy."



1-May Usher

2-Unknown woman nursing a great ape - Not May Usher

To be Continued


Posted here courtesy of Midway Publications - Copyright 1999 William T. Usher All rights reserved


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