.. Happy to be a 56.1 miler ..

Part 3


We started the grind, and didnít stop till we closed for the night:





Ladies and gentleman, allow me your attention for just one moment, I have a fantastic thing to show all of you, something I promise you have never seen, and it is all behind the curtain. You sir, if I were to offer you the chance to see something so odd, so interesting, so exotic, something that you have never seen, for the bargain cost of only three cents would you call that a bargain?.. And you Sir, if I were to tell you that I would show you a carved human skull from mysterious Tibet, for the same low price of three cents, would you too agree that it was the bargain of the day. and you sweet child, have you ever seen a two headed ducky, for you my friend ill give you this free three cent sample, put away your pennies, this is free for the smart folks up front, here it is a perfectly formed two headed duck, they are both brothers, and cousins at the same time. Yes, twice as cute, yet half the calories, this is only one of the oddities, curiosities and items of wonder behind the curtain. I think we all agree that this little wonder was worth the low price of three cents. now here comes the bargain of the day, only offered to the handsome folks up front, we have over 100 curiosities gathered from the eight corners of the globe, you can see relics from the titanic, mammoth fossils, Sammy Davis Jr.'s left eye, this is an educational exhibit, we have lotus flower shoes form the orient on display, we have the dreaded phalo-crypt, and a monstrous walrus oosick, (kids, ask you folks.) Step behind the curtain now for the bargain price of only Three dollars and explore and experience a display far more moving that any you have ever seen, step in now and see the Cyclops pig, see the Siamese piglets, oh donít think of them as poor little freaks of nature, think of it as something you would find on the inside of a hot dog. For only three dollars, cheaper than a cup of fancy coffee, and guaranteed to keep you awake longer.


I spent part of the day inside the curtain telling stories, as promised by the pretty lady out front taking the money; girl Friday let the patrons know that the handsome man in the fez would be happy to answer all questions yet reserved the right to tell the truth. When things got slow in the back I was back in the hall, running my mouth , and dragging them in. when we were busy I was behind the curtain handing out the free three cent sample when called for from my better half. We quickly developed a rapid fire spiel, and together we worked the crowd.


I offered a complete money back guarantee to anyone who didnít come out admitting that they had seen some pretty cool things, and only had one ass who asked for half of his three dollars back, he was only "sort of impressed". Before I could drop the second and third dollar coin into his hand, the smug bastard marched out looking like he had won a huge battle, totally unaware how he had embarrassed himself.


All in all we were received better than I could have imagined. There were some folks interested in a story, and when given the chance to know the truth about everything, very few took me up on it. I did tell them that I would also have to tell the truth about the tooth fairy and Santa clause as you canít have just a little truth.


Then there were the two little girls around 13 years old, they were perfect polite and a little precocious, the perfect combo. They spent plenty of time inspecting the museum, then with a dead-pan delivery asked, "So, what are you going for here?" I explained that this was her third visit and she was bringing friends back with her, she was asking smart questions, and had a better grip on analytical thinking than most of the adults. She then "got itĒ and they became our mascots for the rest of the weekend. They were granted friends of the museum status, and were allowed in as often as the liked. They borrowed the duckling and stood out front talking up a storm, bringing in plenty of business. Around visit number 7 they asked what the deal with the framed butterflies was, and then gave me a stern look warning me to tell the truth. By this time they knew almost all of the stories, and lies, as well as most of the truths, so I figured they earned an honest reply. The framed butterflies were nothing more than space filler; I explained that I didnít know exactly how much space we would have to play with so I just packed them to fill up a blank side of a display case. The girls told me that wasnít good enough, they wanted a story. My first thought was no ladies, you are now adopted buy the museum, time to earn your keep, I think you need to craft something and see how easy it is. Without missing a beat the girls explained with complete conviction that these were artic butterflies, the predominantly white coloration helped them to camouflage themselves in the snowy environment. Before I could even comment, they went on about how they burrow into the snow to conserve warmth like an Eskimo in an igloo, they got it, they completely got the idea of my little social experiment, they got the enjoyment of creating a story, and telling it. The girls did such a fine job making up details about the commander of the artic exploring vessel that discovered these artic wonders, that I promised them that next time they see me; the butterflies would be more prominently displayed along with the true story of their artic origin.


This was quite the learning experience for me. I learned just how hard it is to make an easy buck; I learned that stating something as a fact and with authority, makes it so. I learned how to build a show and make it work on a dime. I learned that forty miles isnít easy, hell I learned that 40 miles is actually more like 56.1 miles for me (three times in one day)


We were offered a spot at the Boston burlesque expo, with talk of subsidizing our appearance; unfortunately we have a date conflict. Another "fan experience" event talked to us about attending their event. We are currently waiting to hear back from a tattoo expo in NYC, and are negotiating with a tattoo convention in Worcester MA. Not bad for a social experiment.


At the moment my Girl Friday is creating a small web page for "Eight Corner Globe" so we can have a specific face for our museum; we hope to have it up within a few days.


Did I have a fine time, yes


Did we make loads of cash, not loads but some.


Would I do it again, Hell Yes!


Scott Bonelli


aka Prof. Badger ( .. Happy to be a 56.1 miler .. )


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