A report from the Archives of the 999 EYES FREAKSHOW & SURREAL SIDESHOW...

In the early days of the 999 EYES, we conceived of a traveling Carnival ov thee Damned, straight out of "Something Wicked This Way Comes", complete with a pagan apothecary tent and zircus dome with a robotic all-seeing eye at the top.  Our Professor ov Necromancy, Prof. Plague, was giving lectures such as "Isometric Shambling for the Undead", and pitching the sale of his patented "Soda Lotion Tonic", guaranteed to cure all the ills and complaints of the living.  We had Zombie Girls suspended with Hooks through their flesh, throwing raw chicken at vegetarians, a jug band made up of Globulins and other creatures from the world below, and, as always, an ever-rotating cast of real living human oddities - Frrrrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaks!  We also had a few gaff freaks just to keep ém guessing. 

In those days, we had a certain Dancing Dwarf, Modern-Day Elephant Man, and Lobster Girl as well as Samantha X and myself making the journey from Texas to L.A. and then to San Francisco to start our first tour. 

We stopped at a little ranch just north of L.A. to visit with Bobby Reynolds and his bodyguard Eddie to get some lessons about how to run a freakshow....

Well, we didn't have the dough to buy any cool stuff from Bobby, but he did show us four of his two-headed babies and share a lot of stories - which is what we came there for, really.  He did let us photocopy some pictures for posterity, and freakshow history for our museum.  One of those documents was a song. I believe Bobby Reynolds wrote the words, or shall I say, conceived of the words, and sang them to a certain musician, Dick Young, who wrote the words along with the notes, and some chords he made up that sound like... well... it is really best done as a sleazy lounge or slow jazz tune (that is how I do it, anyhoo).  The photocopy was badly marred after years of mis-use and neglect, so I transcribed the song a-new from the battered sheet music I had, and present it to you, and, indeed, all of the Sideshow World for your edification and amusement, and as a link to the grandfathers of the current generation of Freak Showmen. 



For all yáll horn players, I can transpose the chart to Bb or any other key if needed - just email

Best Wishes,
Dylan M. Blackthorn


Back to Cutting Up Jackpots    Back to Main


All photos are the property of their respective owners whether titled or marked anonymous.

"Sideshow WorldTM" is the sole property of John Robinson © All rights reserved.

is the sole property of John Robinson © All rights reserved.

E-Mail Sideshow World     E-Mail The Webmaster