Calais, France. 6:07 A.M.

I wake our driver up bright and early and he fires up the engine to warm the bus. In order to board the return ferry to England, we have to first go through French Customs. This crew has only been on duty for a half an hour, and already dark coffee and strong tobacco race together through their brain cells. Wired and ready to go when—first thing in the morning like a fresh croissant—along comes the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow.

A couple of cops come on board and find a pipe. Flashlights in hand, they begin digging through our gear. When they pull out needles an a plastic baggy filled with a brown powdery substance, the cops figure they've found heroin and spikes.

"Out of the bus, everybody. Now!"

They take me—with my briefcase—into an office and pick through my contracts and paperwork, pulling out an envelope that contains personal letters. A cop reaches in and removes a lipstick-kissed envelope.

Torch, Lifto and Enigma are escorted into search rooms. "Take off all your clothes."

In another room, the police verbally harass Jim's French wife Bebe in her native tongue. "Who do you sleep with? Are you wife to all of them?"

After two hours, we're finally sent on our merry way. We clamber back onto the bus and board the ferry to England. The Enigma looks pained, visibly shaken. "Legalized rape," he mutters angrily. "Humiliating."

"Whooh, whooh!" Lifto laughs. "First time for everything."