A letter in response to the article,

The Mirror, Saturday, November 23, 1822

                                          THE MERMAID

To the Editor of the Mirror.

I see by the Papers, that the Mermaid, after having escaped the attempts of Collectors, who would have immured her in their Museums; and the barbarity of the Surgeons, who wanted to dissect her, is at last to use an expression at the sound of which every experienced man's face instinctively lengthens" thrown into Chancery.' Alas! poor Mermaid!

It is to be hoped, that the individual who ran away with this object of universal admiration, was not aware that she was fated to become a Ward of Chancery; for, if he did, he may, according to the doctrines lately promulgated, stand in a very perilous situation. Such protégées are a sort of animal noli-me-tangere; the coming in contact with which draws down on the unhappy adventurer dreadful consequences.

But as this interesting personage is really in this accomplished Court, there is now an excellent opportunity of setting at rest, in an indubitable manner, all the anxieties which have been excited respecting its reality. What think you, Mr. Editor, of a reference to the Master, to inquire, and state to the Court, whether1 the Mermaid be a Mermaid? What an opportunity would here offer for judicial jokes and forensic witticisms! And what a field would be opened for erudite research in the Master's office! The copyright of the Master's Report would be a fortune. Or, if this subject should be thought too difficult to be attempted by the "sages of the law,'' unassisted by other illumination, let an issue be directed, to ascertain the momentous fact in dispute. In such a proceeding, it is obvious that the Jury ought to be awarded de medietate; which, being translated, for the benefit of country gentlemen, into language that is common both to the lawyers' bar and the publicans' bar, signifies "half and half." The combination I would suggest would be, that one half of the Jury should consist of " matrons," to afford the means of ascertaining the womanhood of the subject; and the other half chosen from the Master, Wardens, and Court of Assistants of the Worshipful Company of Fishmongers, in order to try its ichthyology.

It is the opinion of Sir Thomas Browne (see his Vulgar Errors, 1. 5, ch. 19,) and of many other authors, that the Syrens, mentioned by Homer in his Odyssey, were no other than Mermaids, if that be so, how great must be the value of the individual, now, alas ! thrown into Chancery for, as Homer speaks of them in the dual number, it has been most reasonably argued, that they were but two, end Eustathius gives their two names. The Court of Chancery, then, possesses & Ward, who may be described as Presque unique.

Sir Thomas Browne, in the place above cited, says, "No man's eyes have escaped the picture of a Mermaid." I cannot deny that my visual organs have encountered this universal exhibition. But I never saw any picture of a Mermaid, which did act represent this enchanting compound with a Mirror (I do not, Mr. Editor, mean a copy of your interesting miscellany, though, from the interest you take in the damsel, your work would, no doubt, be acceptable to English Mermaids,) but a looking-glass in one hand, and a comb in the other. 1 may add, in the only introduction of this bi-formed being which I remember to have witnessed on the stage, in Tom Dibdin's Harlequin Hoax ; or, A Pantomime Rehearsed, according to my recollection, she appeared with these appropriate ornaments.* But, Sir, the Mermaid in question is, I am shocked to say, de-spoiled of these essential attributes. Now, I would seriously put it to the Chancellor, whether this be not a very alarming circumstance? and I doubt not, that his Lordship will have no doubt, that it ought not to be allowed to grow into a precedent. Think, Mr. Editor, only think, what a dreadful calamity it would be, if all his Lordship's Wards were to be in like manner deprived of their combs and looking-glasses? Think, Sir, how many angelic faces would-but I cannot proceed with this topic: it is too much for my nerves; and, if pursued, would probably operate too powerfully on the lachrymal sensibility for which his Lordship is so justly celebrated.

But, Sir, I am not without apprehension, that some evil-minded persons, not having the fear of the law before their eyes, but being moved and instigated by the (Printer's) devil, and being desirous to bring the practice of a most honorable profession into hatred, ridicule, and contempt, and to scandalize the same, may be tempted to convert this matter into an occasion of sneering against the Law.-Some critics, in their labours to explain what was the foundation of the fiction of the Syrens (who, we have already seen, have been identified with Mermaids;, have asserted, that the Syrens were Queens of certain small islands, named Sirenusae, lying near Capree, in Italy, and chiefly inhabited the promontory of Minerva, on the top of which that Goddess had a temple. Here, it is said, there was a renowned academy in the reign of the Syrens, famous for eloquence and the liberal sciences; whence the fable of the sweetness of their voices. But at length, we are told, the students abused their knowledge, to the colouring of wrong, and the corruption of manners; and therefore they were feigned to be transformed into monsters, and with their music to have enticed passengers to their ruin, and the consumption of their patrimonies. Such ill-natured persons may perhaps ask, Whether the temple of Law was not originally the school of eloquence, and the academies of liberal sciences- and whether some modern students there have not abused their knowledge to the colouring of wrong, and the corruption of manners, and enticed clients to their ruin, and the consumption of their patrimonies?

HOMUNCULUS.
London, Nov. 21, 1832.

* Our correspondent is here in error. The Mermaid in Harlequin Hoax has not a looking-glass in her hand when she rises from the ocean, but a glass of gin and water, of which she acknowledges having drank so freely that she is half seas-over.-editor.