WOW what a year. 3400 miles, 11 breakdowns, 2 bus fires, 1 propane leak and 1 flat.

We decided to tour this year to finance our trip to the SSG. Last year we were donated an old school bus for some clowning we did for a child with cancer. We just barely got the conversion to a tour bus done in time for the tour.

Our first stop was Dallas to meet up with Bizzaro and do a gig at a Halloween attraction where a couple have built a house inside and out to look like the Munsters Mansion. Turnout was low and it was cold as hell but we had a good time. Next was the Full Moon Horror Convention in Little Rock, AR.. This was the first of our breakdowns, the
accelerator cable had been mickymoused by the previous owner and was rubbing on a piece of metal causing it to break. We were stuck in some small town and ended up putting a cable together with bailing wire to get us to a auto parts store. Now one problem with this old bus, is nobody has a parts listing so I went back in the stockroom and hunted through there parts until I found a cable that we could make do. We pulled up at the convention right as we were to be on stage and ran straight from the bus to the stage to perform. Then we got to relax, until our second show the next day. Next it was a couple days to just travel to our next group of gigs in Youngstown thanks to Dr.
Ray aka Slick. but just as we were about to reach Nashville the replacement cable snapped. We were stuck on the highway and ended up coasting at idle speed to the next exit. At the exit we parked at an abandoned Texaco while we waited for one of Bennie's girlfriends Lynn to bring us another cable. This place will forever be known as
Bordellaco as this gutted out shack was full of undergarments and beer bottles like some redneck bordello.

As night came we started scrounging bits of the shack to make a bonfire until help arrived.

Turns out again the parts store didn't have a clue what we needed so we rode into the nearest town with Lynn and finally found a good cable that worked (kind of).

This cable didn't fit right so it slipped off both the carberator and accelerator pedal several times until we found the right way to secure it. At one point the spring slipped off and Bizzaro took us on a wild ride trying to get off the highway and stop with the engine stuck in full throttle. Finally we got this all fixed and I could sleep (I was the unofficial mechanic through the trip).

I awoke to the smell of melting rubber, turns out we now had a flat and were stuck in morning traffic. Luckily it was a back tire and the second tire allowed us to keep moving. After several stops we found a truck stop and got it fixed, by now we were stranded, out of money due to the breakdowns, so after a bunch of phone calls to get some cash
wired to carry us to our next spot. The only other incident was somebody being careless with luggage that got shoved behind the refrigerator pushing a propane line against the heating element. When the luggage was moved the hose was melted and we suddenly had a bomb on our hands as the bus filled with propane gas right next to the gas
pumps we were filling up at. A panicked run to shut off the gas and open the windows and it was a quick fix to re-route the line and repair it.

Once in Youngstown we had a great time first entertaining the college, then doing two theater shows with The Zue a really fun band in Youngstown. But on the way to the theater gigs somebody knocked over the table and it cut into the power for one of the power inverters, as I'm driving to the gig suddenly I hear everyone shouting fire and
rushing to put it out. we got that out I yanked the wire out of the battery and thought all was well. After several hours in the theater we pack up and the bus still smells like smoke Bizzaro moves his blanket and it and his pillow were smoldering from the earlier fire and had burned down into one of the beds. Thank god for fire-retardant or we'd have lost the bus and half our show there.

By the time we got to the gathering stress was high and by the end of the weekend it turned out to be too much for our sound girl and new member. Both were a bit too green for such a trip. The gathering was great as always, getting to see old friends and make new ones this is the highlight of our year. The one time we are surrounded by our
peers and feel at home.

We were disappointed to miss Ward this year and hear of his health problems, it's good to hear you're doing better.

Red Stuart was there and it's always a blast to get to visit with him, he's taught Boobzilla and myself a lot and we can't wait to read his autobiography.

Zamora was there, truly the Torture King, his show was great and his rendition of the Aristocrats had me rolling. A quick side note, from time to time there's weird moments for me on stage one of the greatest was a few years back at the convention as I'm performing pincushion and look down to see Zamora (the greatest pincushion I've seen) taking pictures.

Tim brought along Jackie the human Tripod from 999 eyes, it was great meeting her and I love what they are doing in bringing back the freak show, something I've always wanted to do myself.

Of course Natasha either the unluckiest person I've met with her near death accidents or the luckiest with surviving them and getting right back on the stage.

The Bindlestiffs, my hero's. These are pure entertainers. I can only hope to have a portion of the skill as an entertainer as Keith and Stephanie.

Meeting some people for the first time, Swami was a riot both in his solo act and with The Cheeky Monkey Sideshow, Mab, Sally, Swami, Damion the Blade, and Mysterion put on a really fun show and were great to hang out with. Unfortunately we couldn't hang out Sunday to catch the second show as we had a straight through drive to get home in time for jobs/gigs the next Tuesday.

We also got to meet Brett Loudermilk, this guy is always on, he's one of those people you can tell will always be an entertainer by their passion for it.

Meeting Walt Hudson, John Bradshaw, and Dr. Wilson for the first time, I wish I'd had more time to visit with them.

And lets not forget Aye Jay, James Taylor, Kathleen, James Mundy, Odd Bob and countless others.

The trip home only resulted in three breakdowns, all related to heater hose leaks that filled the bus with antifreeze steam.

All in all the breakdowns were nothing major, just a hassle. And even with all the stress I'd pack up and do it again in a heartbeat.

As far as what's sideshow, so what. We've been referring to ourselves as a Vaudeville sideshow since before this whole argument because we aren't a 10 in 1 or carnival sideshow, we're a theater show. The only problem I have is we work hard to learn the old acts, we take the risks and respect the hell out of those that do/did the traditional
sideshows and know there's a ton we can learn from all of you.

Then to hear cracks like was overheard at the gathering about the marks on stage is a real insult.

We may not be "true carnies" but we're still out there busting our butts all the same.

Momento Mori, Crispy

http://www.crispyfamily.com
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