"Ladies and gentlemen, our next act is one which you will all have on your minds for many days to come. To say she is the most grotesque woman in the world would be an over-simplification. The woman we are about to show you is far more than just grotesque. We bill her as 'The Mule Faced Woman,' but she is far more than being similar in appearance to that animal. Grace McDaniels, who will now step out onto this stage, is so grotesque that even those of us who are her friends, who have known her as a lovely, generous person for years simply cannot stand to look at her for any length of time with her veil off. The sight is simply to sickening."

(At the mention of her name, Grace steps through the silver backdrop onto the stage, and stands with her veil over her face)

"In a minute I'm going to ask Grace to take her veil off so you can see for yourself what she looks like. You won't want to look for long. Instead, you will want to think of yourself, think how lucky you are that you are not like her. Whether you are handsome or homely, beautiful or plain, you can thank you lucky stars you are not Grace McDaniels, "The Mule Faced Woman.' "

( Here, the lecturer introduces the miniature bible pitch)

............ "The money goes for her support and her old age. She is truly a woman without a close relative, or anyone she can call her own. Please help her if you can. Grace will now unveil and you will see for yourself just how much she needs your help.

(Here, Grace removes her veil)

"As she lifts her veil, there arose from the audience one tremendous

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

for she was truly a sight to bring on such reactions. It is impossible to describe her accurately. I can only try. Her flesh was like red, raw meat; her huge chin was twisted at such a distorted angle, she could hardly move her jaws. Her teeth were jagged and sharp, her nose was large and crooked. The objects which made her look most like a mule were her huge, mule-like lips. Her eyes stared grotesquely in their deep-set sockets. All in all, she was a sickening, horrible sight.

"There was a steady murmur from the crowd as Grace stood there with her veil off. Some of the people stared in fascination at her grotesque features. Others, as did I, averted their eyes.

(Here, complete the Bible pitch, pass the bucket)

Grace McDaniels Pitch courtesy of  Tom Hernandez www.quasi-modo.net