One very warm day twenty seven
years ago, the 16th of January, 1892, to be correct, down in the
city of Louisville, Ky., a lovely baby boy first saw the light
of day. I was the lovely baby boy.
Naturally, you will say that it
couldn't have been very warm, even very unusual, but I am an
unusual fellow; in fact, I think I am about as unusual a fellow
as you ever saw.
Some people have called me
"skinny" and others have called me a lot of things, but I've
become used to it now and it doesn't bother me like it used to.
The funny thing about me is that
I am the only one in our family who is thin. Both my
parents are rather large people, and all of my brothers and
sisters are like the average people. My mother told
me that until I was two years old I had to be carried on a
pillow, and every one said that I was so small that I couldn't
live very long.
Now, while I would never presume
to doubt my mother's word, I do know that I was present at the
time, and I can't remember a thing about it. About the
first thing I do seem to remember is that I wasn't as strong as
other children, and the rest of the "kids" used to handle me
just as it suited them, and the wish of my young life was to get
big enough to "wallop" some of them, but it seemed that it was
not to be, for although I grew in height, I didn't seem to fill
out, but just remained around the same weight.
I could tell you a bunch of stuff
that people ask me, but I haven't space to tell it all to you
now, and I can't think of all of them, anyway'; but if you'll
come around some time when I'm not busy, I would like to have a
good long talk w3ith you and tell you some of my experiences in
the show business. One thing I can tell you, and that is
this: I've found out that all the freaks are not on exhibition
in the side shows. There's a lot of them walking
platforms, and let people look at them. Only you can't
tell they are freaks until they start to talk.
Well, I guess I've kept you about
long enough. i know you want to see some of the rest of
the show, so I'll let you go, but just remember this, I am
always ready to accommodate anybody at anytime, and if I can
help you out by giving you some information, just say the word.
Some of you ladies might like to know how to reduce, and if I
can be of any help to you, just mention it, and I'll tell you
all I know about it.
Well, good-bye: if you ever
happen to come down to Louisville when I'm home, just drop in
and see me; I'm always glad to meet old friends. So long:
take good care of yourself.
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