O my God, I believe in you. I trust in you. I thank you
for all of
my blessings. I love you and ask forgiveness for all my
me and protect me and all those dear to me. Make me mindful
privilege as a showman to bring joy and happiness to all
people...especially the poor, the lonely, the less
And when my last act on earth is completed and the final
falls take me to yourself to be happy with you forever.
I wrote this
song when I heard about the untimely passing of my friend
Felicity. She was a wonderful performer who knew how to do
fire stunts, she walked on blades, and could crack a whip
like no one's business. She was a spitfire beauty who is
sadly missed. The hole left behind can never be filled. I
met her when I was traveling through San Francisco and she
was staying with my friend, Chicken John. She spent the last
years of her life traveling with her man and her pig and her
Wild West show in carnivals across America.
An informal gathering for friends and family will be held at
the Chez Poulet
on Thursday night beginning at 6PM.
3359 Cesar Chavez @ Mission
Felicity Perez, who left us May 28, 2008 at age 36, was
loved by audiences of the Dream Circus, Cantankerous Lollies,
Circus Redickuless, Exotic World, bindlestiff's family
circus, Ward Hall's World of Wonders, and others too
numerous to name... Her inquisitive nature never stopped
learning new skills and techniques. She never said the word
impossible, and was always an inspiration to her peers and
her audience. We are impoverished by her tragic passing and
are all very sad.
If you have images or video you would like to share, please
email them to
will bring a book to add images and stories through the
night, which I will send to Matthew Molotov Bouvier, her
husband, after the memorial.
If this brilliant dark star of the stage touched your life
or the life of someone dear to you, please join us in
remembrance. She is already missed...
Also online for
a link at:
has been planned
in honor of Felicity, this one down here in L.A. where her
mom and family live.
Please help to
get the word out if you know of any of her friends here in
It will be taking place on Saturday, June 14th in Valley
Village (North Hollywood) at the home of her aunt Ann-Marie.
It will get
started around 2pm but will go into the evening for those
who work during the day.
This event is
open to all, everyone is welcome.
The location is
at a private home, for more info people can call her aunt
at: (818) 438-1559.
the mention of Matt and Felicity on your site. I loved
both of them very much, it
a tribute poem/song for her yesterday, I thought you
might like to see it, I have it posted on my myspace
and tribe blog for friends viewing only, but of
course can't record it just yet, I can't even say
the words with out crying, but if you like to see
it, it's called "Goodbye Felicity Perez" by Phat Man
For Felicity Perez, who left us yesterday May 28,
2008 at the age of 36
I really looked up to her, she was so beautiful and
such an entertainer. She was a wonderfully strong
woman with more showmanship and heart than anyone I
have ever met. I have not been able to catch up with
her in recent years, but the few shows I did with
her always left me breathless and inspired.
I starting working on some verse for the following
piece last year, I thought I was writing it for the
impending loss of Coney Island, but something wasn't
right, so I left it for another time, which
unfortunately was today.
Goodnight to the sideshow, Goodbye my tattooed
It's time to go home, no matter how far you did
Take with you our greasepainted dreams.
A chorus of bearded angels, with their phalanx of
fat men proud,
One fire eating dwarf is all we'd need, to part that
We cry into the heavens, Up to there you did walk on
No one can find the tent anymore, We can only see
This grave that holds our princess, she was the
belle of the midway true,
But not even that famous Golden Voice can sing back
the girl we all knew.
Cuz she left us on a Wednesday, Thursday rose dark
The carnival colours faded, from a tragic bullet she
She made the people wonder, sigh and gasp when they
saw her show,
They came to see a beauty, but so little of her did
Her lovely figure held their gaze, the crowds ogled
on and on,
Twas her skills with fire and sword that amazed, and
caused me to pen this sad song,
So sing Goodbye to the Sideshow, Goodnight my
When you finish climbing your ladder of blades,
Into Heaven, dear, please take my dreams.
Felicity in San Francisco when she was had become
involved with Mathew Bouvier, whom she would later
marry. I had met Mathew, or Molotov as he was know,
earlier when he was performing with an alternative
circus group at a festival in Davis, CA. Both Felicity
and Molotov had a dream of living a "real" sideshow
life. That is to say, they both wanted to live a fully
nomadic lifestyle and perform on the fairground
circuit. Unlike many other people, they were quite
willing to make the many sacrifices that it takes to
dream a reality. They were eager to quit their jobs at
the prospect of touring with a tent show. They toured
with Ward Hall's World of Wonders show for several
seasons and them bought a motor home.
I brought them out for a coast to coast tour of Canada
one year, knowing that they both knew that demands of
a touring how and were both "troupers" and very well
practiced. My nightclub tour must have been a breeze
compared to outdoor shows that they had honed their
skills with. I also brought them out for a few college
shows and we went to a few conventions together. Some
of this is in this article about them that appeared in
SF Bay area newspaper:
Soon they were on the road full time. I would only see
them a couple of times a year. When I moved Las Vegas,
I would see them at the big outdoor amusement trade
show. I learned that they had gotten a wild west show
that toured in a fold out trailer. They did western
stunts, knife-throwing and sword swallowing.
I don't think that I had seen them in a couple of
years, and now I get this shocking news of Felicity's
tragic death. I don't know that I can write anything
that has not already been said, but all I can think is
that Mathew must be in a place of deep grief and I
offer my sympathy to him and to Felicity's friends and
family members. I will post info about the funeral
when I find out about it, and hope to get an address
to send cards and condolences to.
When someone dies I have learned that this is a time
to remember all of the good times and good things that
this person brought to the world, and I have many
happy memories of Felicity, something that I am sure
that I share with everyone who knew her.
I'm just at a loss for words here......
........... Felicity became a pretty close friend of
mine, along with Matthew, when we worked and played
and went out for sushi and practiced our respective
arts together and......
This one really sucks...
I missed their marriage, at Ward's hand, and could
have kicked myself for that..... The three of us "ran"
the World of Wonders at the 2003 Florida State Fair,
where we worked our butts off despite the stalled
economy and the fact that this was the beginning of
the Iraq War....We shared the stages together.... We
enjoyed each other's company in
Winter Quarters, on the road, and at area
restaurants.... Felicity introduced me to Mexican
sushi.... I helped her improve her fire eating skills
and watched her practice being Matt's knife-throwing
target, among other things.... All of us who knew her,
played with her, or just met her, loved her like a
sister, nearly as much as Matt himself did. We'll all
miss her terribly, and I grieve along with Matthew for
this terrible loss....
......So many things I could say here, and yet.... I'm
at a loss....
Godspeed on your journey, Cha-Cha.... We all loved
heartbroken at the passing of our Felicity who Chris
nick named Cha Cha. It seems such a short time ago
that Felicity, Matthew and David Apocalypse joined our
show. Their beginning of what was to be a successful
show business career. Matt and Cha Cha contended with
Spartan living conditions and the hard work of a
tented touring show. She was right there to help on
the set up and teardown, working as hard as any of the
guys, harder than some of them. Without complaint she
did whatever task was to be done around the show. She
didn't have to be told, or asked. If she saw
something that needed to be done, she made the
and Cha Cha always wanted to learn more performing,
and in what little spare time they had, they would be
practicing to improve upon and perfect a new stunt
adding their own personal innovations of true
showmanship. Chris taught them the basics of knife
throwing, and sword swallowing, to which they would
add their on flourishes of great showmanship.
never been so honored in my life than I was when they
asked me to officiate at their wedding. I don't
recall ever asking them how they found out that I am
an ordained minister, They were married at our home
in Gibsonton. It was glorious. When Felicity
descended the stairway in a gorgeous formal white
wedding gown with train and veil, she glowed with the
aura of the angel she was. As she proceeded through
the room over-flowing with their family members and
friends to the classical weeding music provided by
their friends Johnny Meah playing the organ
accompanied by Roy Houston on drums, to Matthew her
groom and Chris his best man, Their happiness touched
everyone in attendance. That is the picture of
Felicity that I shall always hold in my heart.
heart broken for this tragic accident that has taken
Felicity from us. I am only calmed by the knowledge
that she is now standing in the presence of our Lord
Jesus Christ, and that there will be a time that we
will all see her and be with her in Gods Heaven. As I
am writing this, God is blessing Felicity. I pray
for God to lessen the terrible pain that Matthew is
suffering now. Matt is a strong, talented man who
will continue in this life. He will be presenting the
show as they had planned, for this is what Felicity
would want him to do. Certainly they, and now Matthew
truly know the creed of the show world, "The Show Must
Go On" and Matt who has overcome many set backs and
hardships in his life, will be sustained by Gods love
now and in the future to carry on what he has been
appointed to do.
You Matt. and remember these three words that apply
from Chris, Pete, Jimmy, myself and all of your many
always as close to you as your phone.
condolences and best wishes,
PRIVILEGED TO CALL FELICITY MY FRIEND. WHEN SHE
JOINED OUR SHOW I GAVE HER THE NICKNAME CHA CHA AS IT
SEEMED TO FIT HER VIBRANT PERSONALITY AND FIRE FOR
LIFE. SHE HAD IT ALL DETERMINATION, BEAUTY, WORK
ETHIC, AND A KEEN SENSE FOR BUSINESS.
THIS LADY KNEW WHAT SHE WANTED AND WAS WILLING TO MAKE
THE SACRIFICES TO GET THERE, WHAT CAN I SAY SHE WAS A
CLASS ACT ALL THE WAY. SHE HAS LEFT US MORTALS FOR A
BETTER PLACE AND WILL BE WATCHING OVER US, I FEEL AS
THOUGH I NOW HAVE AN ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER.
BLESS YOU AND MATT IN OUR PRAYERS.
C. M. CHRIST
Felicity on Dec. 23, 2008 in Phoenix Az. at their Wild
West Show- right after their performance.
Courtesy of John Strong Jr.
to a Friend Felicity Perez
A dear friend in the Burlesque/Sideshow world has
friend and colleague is Felicity Perez.
She was an original member of the Cantankerous
Lollies from San Francisco and then went on to form
an old time sideshow duo with her partner and
husband Molotov Malcontent.
I met these two via my friend/partnership with
Suzanne Ramsey, Harvest Moon and the original
We began working together back in 2000-01.
Molotov and Felicity became good friends of mine and
helped create the better half of some of my Cabarets
in Portland Oregon.
When I was working on the Exotic World benefit in
2001/02 known as the Kit Kat Follies, they were an
enormous help and hosted the event, going on to
co-host the Miss Exotic World show I was involved in
producing in 2002 .
They stayed at the EW ranch and helped Dixie and
Charlie until they got a gig in Gibtown Florida
where they relocated to be with beautiful sideshow
Felicity was very young , but motivated and filled
with spirit and was a true, straight-forward person
through and through.
No success ever tarnished her ego ,she lived life in
the moment and always recognized her friends.
She was one of the first's in the Burlesque revival,
but more importantly, she was a definitive first in
the revival and collaboration of Burlesque and
Sideshow before the mediums became over run with
trendy wannabee's, she was the real deal.
She was an organizer, manager and show director at
the Lusty Lady in San Francisco.
She worked with the Cacophony Society and it's
various off shoots, performed in the more creative
fetish scenes and was a regular in the sorely missed
Stinkie's Peep Show, worked with the Lollies and
then with Molotov, Bindlestiff Family Circus, Girly
Freakshow and countless other above and below ground
She was beautiful inside and out, not a mean bone in
She had balls, courage, was beautiful, resourceful,
caring, goofy ,wild and naive.
Sunshine radiated from her entire being.
Even I could not be in a glum mood around her, and
that say's something!
I am in complete shock and do not even know how to
understand or convey what happened to her, but here
She was with her husband Molotov at a friends ranch
in Texas taking shooting lessons.
All I know at this point is that she was handed a
loaded gun and as she took it into her hand it
She suffered a gun shot through her stomach and she
died quickly in Molotov's arms.
To my knowledge, there are no allegations of foul
play, it was just one of those things where
something went wrong.
I have to add that this was a woman who played with
fire, knives ,swords ropes and danger on a daily
I do not know exactly what detail was out of place
here but I can say that it is far too easy to lose
perspective in the blink of an eye or less.
I have shot a variety of guns, not very well I might
add, but it is such a tricky thing.
I have also practiced spinning and handling prop
guns and that isn't easy either, but never attempted
any trickery with a loaded gun.
It is far too easy for a gun prop or real to hit a
knuckle or palm the wrong way.
When spinning, it can catch on the most minute piece
of skin and go awry.
I just have to add once again, that it makes no
difference how familiar one is with dangerous
objects, you can never turn your head for an inth of
a second, because it is all about physics and it is
physical, chemical and unbelievably fast!
I have been obsessing every moment since I heard
this news about how and WHY this happened.
I cannot even begin to express how it is driving me
I can't stand it and I wish I could take myself back
in time and watch the whole thing in slow motion and
stop it at the imminent time, but I can't.
What I can say is that you who are reading this and
knew Felicity, worked with her or simply druelled
over her or marveled at her work, to just remember
how lovely she was.
For those of you who joined this game later and
never knew of her, take time to find out about her
and thank her for paving the way for you who want to
combine beauty with danger and acknowledge her
humility, practicality and sublime absence of
egotism, because remembering Felicity reminds me of
the enthusiasm and resource-fulness of so many of us
who were rediscovering the lost art of Burlesque and
Sideshow in the early 90's and the comraderie and
dare I say it, sisterhood and support that existed
at that time.
As much as I detest the term DIY these days, because
it has become a tag word and not a creed, those
times were seriously DIY.
You do your research, talk to the old folks,
brainstorm, have your craft night, clean the toilet
one day, KP duty on the other and have a ball
together stumbling over your mistakes while running
towards the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
(which may only be a sprinkler) and support your
friends and keep the dream alive.
This was and is Felicity Perez.
But please, send your heartfelt thanks and prayers
to her memory, and please send your love and
blessings to her beloved Molotov.
We cannot even imagine what he is experiencing at
I love you and cherish my dear Capricorn sister
You gave me, but not only me ,but many people much
happiness and inspiration.
met Felicity and Matt in 1998 after I was released
from being incarcerated in California, At that time
all I did was live, breath and dream magic and they
saw it in me and Felicity asked me to be in her
burlesque show and I said okay. Then I also became
part of The Almost Lucky 13 Sideshow doing the
Magic! In that Show Cha Cha was the ring master and
you could see in her what she would become one day!
we all did our last show together here in San
Francisco and all went our separate ways and in our
troop there was about a dozen of us and the whole
time it was Felicity and Matt who held it all
together and they were quite the pair made for each
went on to perform across country with The World of
Wonders! Some years later I got this call from Matt
in Peoria Illinois saying they needed a talker
because David Apocalypse broke his collar bone and
they needed another smooth talker, So I went to
Illinois and remember it all so well, it was a great
experience and I learned a lot which changed my life
remember going out to the store with Cha Cha and
Zizi for something like an hour before
the show Felicity Driving Wards Van! She was a great
friend and always concerned about her friends! I
also recently worked with them in The Great American
Frontier Show out of New York and Felicity and I
spent a lot of time putting that show up and really
really cut short for her she was a REAL LADY &
FRIEND! She will be missed greatly, I wanted to see
her one last time today at her funeral but I could
not get the money together for a flight there just
one way! She was my soul sister and I will greatly
miss her and my life will be seriously missing
something with her gone from us!
her like my real sister!
I HONOR HER AND HER MEMORY,
Stephen David Baker!
Felicity, How we love thee...
I first met Felicity in SF back in 93.
When I got a space at 110 Capp and asked different
friends to join me in putting together a performance
she was there all the way.
She was our Kali dark goddess, fearless!
Ape Theater and the 'Tree of Life' would not have
been nearly as fun or amazing without her.
Camping in the desert, the hot springs, before
Burning Man and the performance we all did; memories
I will always treasure.
Halloween... (we'll leave that story for the crew to
remember) I only remember smiles, good times, 'Love
I will remember you, miss you, love you... always
Miss You: Felicity Perez (1972-2008)
Francisco underground arts world lost a cherished
member of its family last week. Felicity Perez was a
wonderful, dedicated, beautiful performer who graced
numerous stages in this city and around the country.
She co-founded the burlesque dance
troupe The Cantankerous Lollies (dating back to
1995). She performed in the Opera at Burning Man in
1998. With her longtime partner and husband Molotov
Malcontent she performed classic sideshow tricks
like knife-throwing, fire-eating and walking on
glass for crowds large and small; together they
followed their dream to go on the national circuit,
touring with the legendary Ward Hall King of the
Sideshow. Felicity died as the result of a
shooting accident, when a rifle that a friend was
loading in order to teach her how to shoot
discharged unexpectedly and uncontrollably. She was
shot in the stomach and passed away quickly in the
arms of her husband Molotov. This tragedy touches
everyone who knew this shining vivacious performer
and loving friend. We miss our dear friend and
grieve also for her beloved Molotov for the shock
and unimaginable loss he must feel.
Felicity was a dedicated performer always working to
add to her repertoire. She was committed to the arts
she practiced and a valued member of the communities
of Sideshow and Burlesque performers. She and
Molotov will always be a part of the extended family
of the San Francisco and Burning Man arts community.
She was loved, cherished and admired by all of her
friends. She performed for literally thousands of
people around the country. Amazing, amusing and
delighting every one of them. All of us who knew her
are remembering her now. She was a bright light and
continues to glow within so many minds and hearts
most of my time spent with her was on the road with
her and Matt. She was the inside act I was the
outside talker. I'd tell people about what an amazing
sights they'd see inside.
The Strange Girl, Beautiful,
get to do that again, but, like she would always do
she's made my job easy, because anyone who ever knew
her knows just how spellbindingly beautiful she was,
what an incredible performer she
was. From her family who knew her her whole life
to the kids who only saw her a few moments in the
show, she's touched us all.
made me a better showmen and a better
Thank you Felicity,
Memory of a(n irradiant)
image inspired by a photograph from
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