THE GENERATION GAP(1)

 

By the irrepressible Prof. Laszlo


 

Young Derrick was more of an outlaw than an in-law…

Derrick’s mom is currently on the road tangled up in a relationship with my son’s father-in-law…

This makes Derrick nearly an in-law…

 

He washed up on the shores of our Florida winter quarters dead broke and without prospects…

My kids immediately began calling him “Derelict”…

Derrick is the product of five or six generations of Showpeople…

A circus and carnival dynasty…

Young Derrick has the potential to become a great Showman…

Most great Showman have been broke more often than the ten commandments…

Derrick is well on his way, but has yet to achieve his full potential…

 

Derrick seemed to be hopelessly infatuated with my lovely daughter Katerina…

The operative word here being hopeless…

She treated him with scathing contempt, literally busting his chops mercilessly …

She seems to take after her mom that way…

Cold blooded like the giant snake…

 

“Why am I not good enough?” he once asked her, to which she replied, “ I will settle for nothing less than a millionaire.”…

“I can become a millionaire in the carnival business.” he declared…

“I’m certain you can, provided you start as a billionaire.” she stated disdainfully…

 

My illusions of a possible true merging of the dynasties were shattered…

 

Derrick took it like a man…

He suffered endlessly…

He eventually escaped…

 

I recently played a date in Miami and there was Derrick managing his grandfathers grab joint…(2)

He had just joined the show and was wasting no time about getting into a heat score…(3)

 

Evidently, one of the show girls was less selective than my Kate, and was quite taken with Derricks charm…

This left the regular show guys somewhat resentful…

They displayed this by surrounding him in the camp after closing and attempting to tenderize him with fists and other objects…

 

Derrick tried diplomacy, “Listen guys, you don’t need to worry, I’m not going to steal your girlfriend, I’m leaving the show next week, and I promise, I won’t take her with me, you’re not going to lose your girlfriend, the worst thing that will happen is that one of you will lose your turn.”…

 

This understandably enough, failed to resolve the conflict and only served to open up other areas for dispute…

“C’mon guys, I’ve been here almost a week, how long do you have to be on the show to get in on that?”

Within minutes someone swung and it was on…

 

The following day, somewhat the worse for wear, he asked me, “Professor, how do you stay out of trouble so consistently?”…

“Well Derrick, it has to do with my favorite quotation.”…

“What would that be?”…

 

 

Can’t we all just get along?”…(4)

“What if that fails?” he asked…

“There’s always my second favorite.”…

“And what would that be?”…

HEY RUBE”…(5)

 

(1) an imperceptible distance separated by an extremely long time span…

(2) a health food establishment serving sausage sandwiches, corn dogs, and french fries…

(3) the Carnie version of a friendly discussion…

(4) attributed to Rodney King and televised nationally…

(5) unknown Showman probably missing teeth…

 


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