Yeh, ef it
Vasn't Ver Dat Reno
Vid Her Dam
Ping Pong Balls
The young girl
brought our order. As we ate, one of the locals says to the
guy banging the cash register, "Hey Morty, you gonna go to
the fair this week?" Morty replied, "Shit no! They don't
have any girly shows like they used to have years ago, like
when they had Reno, the girl from Nevada and her ping pong
At that time, a middle aged woman working the griddle turns
around and says in kind of a Dutch accent, "Yeh, ef it
vasn't ver dat Reno vid her dam ping pong balls, I voodent
haf dis pain in de ass here vaiting on de tables." I thought
May would piss on herself laughing.
By then we had finished eating. The teenage gal came over to
pick up the dishes and she asked May what she thought was so
funny. May answered, "I'm Reno."
We got up, walked to the cashier, paid the bill and walked
out. As we got in the car, all the men in the restaurant
were looking out the window.
That winter, I had a bout with spinal meningitis and damn
When I got out of the hospital, I was kind of disabled.
Phil Clark, a friend of ours, told us that he knew a guy
down in Tampa who owned two motels and a TV repair shop,
that was looking for someone to run one of his motels and
gave May the guy's name, address and phone number.
May called and we got the job. We went down and took over
the management of the Swan Motel on Nebraska Avenue.
After we were there about a month, May was routing through
some old papers looking for my birth certificate, because I
was past sixty two and applying for social security and
needed it. While she was looking for the certificate, she
ran across a card that Bob and Mae had given us a couple of
years before. They told May and me that they had bought some
land in Tarpon Springs and were going to retire and open a
May and I had forgotten all about it. She handed me the
card, I read it and said, "Tarpon Springs. That ain't too
far from here. Let's drive over this Sunday and see them
There's not too much business then and maybe we can get the
woman in number three to mind the store for a few hours. We
asked the woman and she agreed. So that Sunday we drove over
to Tarpon Springs. Sure enough, we found the zoo called
Bob and Mae were happy to see us. They showed us around the
zoo and we cut up jackpots about the incident with the
orangutan. May said, "You know, I've often wondered what
would have happened if I had gone into the woods with him. "
Bob replied, "I don't know for sure, but you could
have wound up with a doozey of a specimen for a sideshow!"
As we started to leave, Bob's wife walked with us to the
car. On the way, she told us that the first couple of years,
they had done real good with the zoo but then business fell
off. All the animals they had, including two gorillas,
fifteen chimps, one orangutan, twenty monkeys, one
alligator, many birds, three dogs and four people, cost a
lot of money to feed, not counting taxes, lights, water and
She continued by saying, "I don't know how long we'll be
able to make it. Bob's talking about having to close. If the
people that brought their chimps in to board for the winter
paid their board bills, it wouldn't be so bad. Some of them
have been here for three or four years and we haven't heard
a word from them. You'd think that we were running an old
age home for chimps." We then said good-bye and left.
Well, May and I went back to Tampa. A few days later, the
police, vice squad and detectives came to the motel, stopped
at the office and asked May if she would give her consent
for them, to look around the motel and check out the rooms.
May told them to go ahead and be our guests, that we didn't
have anything to hide.
The fuzz got this woman out of the back seat of one of the
police cars with a blindfold over her eyes and with one
deputy on one side of her and one on the other, walked her
to the front of the office. They stopped there, then walked
her past the laundry room to one of the rooms in the back,
then asked May to open the room. She did as they asked and
they took the woman in and shut the door.
May figured that she might as well put a load of sheets and
pillow cases in the washer, so she did that, added bleach
and detergent, put it on the wash cycle, then took others
out of the dryer and folded them. Then she went back to the
A few minutes late, the city detective and an officer came
in and wanted to know the names and descriptions of the
people that rented room number twelve the day before.
May checked her records and told them that she had rented it
at six o'clock to a white male in his twenties with black
hair and a beard. He was wearing a T-shirt with a Busch
Gardens logo on the front. She also told them that he was
driving a light blue Dodge van and gave them the license
number of the vehicle. The detective checked the license
number that he had of the woman's van and they were
He said to the
police officer, "Well, this is the place that he brought her
to rape her. We've traced everything from the time he forced
her into her van to room twelve, where she said she could
hear a washing machine washing laundry." All the while that
this was going on, a newspaper reporter was taking it all
down in his notebook.
To be Continued