"Gal, Are You Making Any Money?"
May and I didn't do anything all winter but fish and have
fun. I guess if she could have become pregnant, she would
have had a set of triplets, come fall.
When the season opened again, we were back with Ralph and
Lou but rehashing most of the spots, the gross dropped to
less than half of the previous year. We hung in there for
Toward the middle of the season, Lou sent 'Ralph the Pitch'
down to see May and me. Ralph told us that they had promised
the fire chief (the sponsor of the spot) that they would
have a girly show and asked May if she would consider
working one of the girly shows that they had. Both of them
were closed at the time. Ralph said that she didn't have to
strip all the way, just down to a G-string.
Not bragging, but May was a sizzling sexpot at that time,
with shoulder length black hair and bangs. She looked like
To make Lou and Ralph happy, she said OK, but just for this
week or until you get someone else. This was Monday and
because they didn't have any girls, they had left the girly
before six that evening, they had the girly show up and
ready to open. May became Stella, the stripper, and before
the second night, she was taking it all off and getting a
deuce out of every mark that went into the show, plus tips.
She grossed twice the amount of money that week that I did
with the ten-in-one and the geek show combined, without the
headache of feeding and paying all the salaries for the
help. Instead of working the girl show for the week, she
worked it for the rest of the season.
A few weeks later, my inside man and his wife said that they
wished they had the side show and told me of what changes
they would make, and so on. I talked to Lou and Ralph
about letting George and his wife take over the ten-in-one
and letting May and me have both of the girl shows. He
agreed to let them have the ten-in-one and the geek show.
I found a couple of girls to work the other girly show.
Knowing that the girly shows were the
magnets that drew the men to the midway for the crooked
games to beat, Ralph and Lou welcomed the idea. May and I
got out of the side show business and into the girl show
business and it paid off.
About the fourth spot, we pulled onto the lot and Bob and
Mae Noel were there, putting up their chimpanzee show. May
and I walked over and said, "Hello, glad to see you folks
Bob said, " Likewise. Hell, we ain't seen you guys for what,
two or three years? You still got the ten-in-one?" May spoke
up, "Hell, no! We got rid of that worry, work and headache.
Now, I'll have you know, I'm Stella by Candlelite, de
feature of de girly show."
Mae, Bob's wife asked, "Gal, are you making any money?"
replied, "Yeah, a damn sight more than we were making with
that workhorse." I spoke up and said, "Here comes the lot
man to give us our location. Got to go, talk to you all
Well, we opened that night. May with the single 'O' girl
show, out grossed mine with two gals.
Bob's show made a killing with his boxing chimps because he
had three locals challenge his chimps. He got in three
shows, each with a full house.
The next morning, May took a hot shower because the weather
After she towel dried, she slipped into a pair of cooloffs,
wrapped the towel around her head, sat down and had toast
and coffee. She then took a folding chair and went out in
front of the show to where the sun was shining to dry her
hair. In the meantime, I tied up the sidewall around the
tent so that the breeze could blow through it and make it a
lot cooler inside.
Out back, behind the tent, there was a wooded area with
bushes, trees and shrubs. May was sitting in the folding
chair out in front of the show still drying her hair. I was
sitting on the bally smoking a cigarette, when here comes
Bob down the midway with this big gorilla, weighing close to
three hundred pounds, handcuffed to his wrist. The reason
for the handcuff was because a gorilla's neck is bigger
around than its head, so you couldn't put a collar around
its neck and chain it. If you did, it would simply slip the
collar over its head.
Bob was out giving the gorilla its morning exercise. As they
walked by May and me, May looked up and seeing the gorilla,
she hollered to Bob, who was about twenty feet away, "Where
in the hell did you get that monster, Bob?"
Bob called over, "This is Tommy, that little baby gorilla
that you used to nurse. He's almost full grown now."
This prompted May to start talking baby talk to Tommy and he
stood up on his hind feet, looked at May and came running to
her, dragging Bob behind him. Tommy jumped on her lap, put
his arms around her and started smooching on her. About that
time, the folding chair collapsed and they wound up on the
May continued to talk baby talk to him and Tommy starting
looking through her hair, looking for bugs. He then started
picking at her arms and then spread out on his back, wanting
May to look for bugs on his chest and belly. May looked him
over for a minute, then making like she found one, said,
"There's one." She made like she picked it off his chest,
then showed him her hand and said, "See here, it's a big
one," and made like she put it in her mouth and smacked her
Tommy then rolled over on his belly, wanting her to look on
his back. About an hour later, Bob and his wife, along with
a dozen doughnuts plus some bananas, finally were able to
coax Tommy away from her. I asked her if she was frightened
and she said, "Heck, no, I knew that Tommy wasn't
about to hurt his mommy."
2-Unknown woman nursing a great ape - Not May Usher
To be Continued