Show time, the
big day, this is nothing different from any other production. I
had come to think of this as a theatrical production rather than
a freak show, so I could feel more comfortable with the
familiarity of presentation rather than fear the unknown. We
were initially slated to set up our little display in a common
area along vendor’s row, but later found out that we were
banished to a room like the other vendors. Seems there was a
little battle between the convention chair, and the vending
coordinator, and I was used as a fulcrum between the two. Great
they fight and I loose.
We carry up our
loaded trunks, our display turntables, and our miles of velvet
table coverings. We were one class act! Once the sign was set
outside we had interest, people couldn’t wait for us to set up.
Unpacking went well not a thing broken; perhaps a little
formaldehyde was spilled but no real problems. I realized that
my carefully laid out plans were not going to happen without
the photos. Holy crap! The photos were left home, no problem, I
can fake this, it was only a guideline after all… so long as I
start with the Cyclops pig in the center ill be fine.... but
where the hell is it...
through me, I forgot something… make that some things... a whole
damn box… and it’s the good stuff. In my rush to get out of the
house I forgot the last trunk. Without a Cyclops pig, or Mary
Kate & Ashley the Siamese pigs, or the shrunken head, I had
nothing... this one case had all the highlights in one safe
place... and that place was my living room.
My girl Friday
was left to set up the room while I raced back to Rhode Island,
a drive of 56.1 miles each way. I am in a panic; this is no way
to make a good first impression. This drive should take about 45
min with only a few laws broken, a few minutes to make the pick
up, and then back again, I have a decent chance of getting back
for the start of the event. I knew that chance was shot all to
hell just 5 minutes out the hotel, when I encountered the worst
traffic I have ever had the pleasure of sitting in.
Almost 4 hours
later I’m back in the hotel lot, important box in tow, hustling
my way through a hotel filled to capacity with freaks and geeks,
not the fun carnival sort, but rather the star trek and
renascence faire variety. As I squeeze into the elevator I
realize that it is not just rumor that these folks don’t bathe
socially awkward group made no concession for me as I tried to
rush down the hall… I actually overheard a couple talking about
how they couldn’t wait to visit the museum. Seems that they had
tried to enter earlier, but were turned away. So wrapped up in
their little geek world and too rude to let me pass even after I
informed them that I had the key to the museum in the form of my
little trunk of goodies, they sort of brushed past me as if I
was a bastard for trying to enter the room before them.
minutes of my arrival, the museum was set, and ready for guests.
Yes guests... as much as these rude people had pissed me off;
they were to be my guest and deserved my fullest attention.
After all they were paying my salary for the day, 3 dollars at a
plenty of nice folks, and a few fools who were smug enough to
tell me that they could spot the fakes amongst the lot. Not only
were they all wrong, but I took a petty joy in screwing with
them the second I realized they thought they were smarter than
me. There was one young lady who first let me know how smart and
worldly she was, (after all she was a student of anthropology)
then let into me for exploiting the indigenous peoples of the
world was set at ease when I told her of the FUGAWIE tribe, and
how they support themselves through toe carvings, and selling
teeth. There were several folks in the know around that simply
let out a smile, and let the fool dig her own grave.