The Monkey Girl and the Fat Man

by Ken Mundis

Being on the road gets pretty lonely.  I think it is human nature.  From time to time you would find yourself in a meaningful relationship that would last a week to ten days depending how long you were in town.  Now what amazed me, for a lack of a better word is all the gentlemen callers that the Monkey Girl would have!  She truly was a sweetheart and she did have a full beard.  But she would tell Mike and I, we were all roommates, “Don't wait up boys, Momma will be home late tonight.”  She always treated us like she was our mother.  She was a very, very nice lady.  She was a very real lady.  We would always see them come for her after the fair closed.  They were always nicely dressed guys. 
 
I want to share a story about the Fat Man.  It started at my first spot at the York County Fair.  It was a hot day.  I was the new guy and trying to be nice.  I asked him if he needed anything.  He said, “Yes. Would you get me some lunch?” I said, “Sure, what do you want?” Surprisingly it really wasn't that much!  He wanted two corn dogs, two slices of pizza, and two orders of fries with a lot of salt, lots and lots of salt.  He said, “and maybe a hamburger or two.”  I was told to tell them who I was, who I worked for and that they would take care of the tab.  So off I went from one grab joint to the next, all up and down the Midway getting him his lunch. When I finished, I returned to the tent.  I was hot and sweaty. I said, “Hey, can I have one of your cokes?”  He always kept a case of Coca-Cola on ice beside him all of the time.  Well that’s when I learned never to ask a Fat Man for his food! Ha! Ha! 
 
He stared at me real tough and said, “I'll give you one this time but don't ever “F-ing” ask me for anything else again.  Understand me?”   I never asked him for anything again. Ha! Ha! 
 
But there were times Mike and I would raid his refrigerator.  It was in the middle of the night.  He had it all, candy bars, sandwiches, chips.  It was like a 7-11.  There was this one time we were in between spots.  He would always stay in a hotel room while we set up.  We all went over to his hotel room to watch TV.  I’ll never forget the look on his face like WOW!  I have friends and they’re coming to my house to hang out.  He was a gracious host and made sure everyone was comfortable.  He even offered us food and drink.  It was really touching to see this hard ass guy being happy.  Granted, his place was a mess.  There were buckets of KFC and bags of fast food lying all around his room. 

The real reality was when I went to use his bathroom.  I had never thought about a 750lb. man using the bathroom.  That’s when I found out he couldn’t use a toilet.  He had to use the tub.  Now he couldn’t walk very well and when you’re on a lot the closest bathroom is pretty far away.  So he would hold his bowels some times for days.  When he went, he really went. 
 
When he wanted to take a bath it was always during the mid afternoon when the sun was hottest.  He would use a garden hose behind the tent.  All in all though, I really respected that man.  He does have a good heart and he is a very, very smart person.  He loves to read and reads all of the newspapers, science fiction books, history books and anything else he can get a hold of to read or study.

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