NOTHING LIKE US!
A report from the
Archives of the 999 EYES FREAKSHOW & SURREAL SIDESHOW...
In the early days of
the 999 EYES, we conceived of a traveling Carnival ov thee
Damned, straight out of "Something Wicked This Way Comes",
complete with a pagan apothecary tent and zircus dome with a
robotic all-seeing eye at the top. Our Professor ov Necromancy,
Prof. Plague, was giving lectures such as "Isometric Shambling
for the Undead", and pitching the sale of his patented "Soda
Lotion Tonic", guaranteed to cure all the ills and complaints of
the living. We had Zombie Girls suspended with Hooks through
their flesh, throwing raw chicken at vegetarians, a jug band
made up of Globulins and other creatures from the world below,
and, as always, an ever-rotating cast of real living human
oddities - Frrrrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaks! We also had a few gaff
freaks just to keep ém guessing.
In those days, we had a certain Dancing Dwarf, Modern-Day
Elephant Man, and Lobster Girl as well as Samantha X and myself
making the journey from Texas to L.A. and then to San Francisco
to start our first tour.
We stopped at a little ranch just north of L.A. to visit with
Bobby Reynolds and his bodyguard Eddie to get some lessons about
how to run a freakshow....
Well, we didn't have
the dough to buy any cool stuff from Bobby, but he did show us
four of his two-headed babies and share a lot of stories - which
is what we came there for, really. He did let us photocopy some
pictures for posterity, and freakshow history for our museum.
One of those documents was a song. I believe Bobby Reynolds
wrote the words, or shall I say, conceived of the words, and
sang them to a certain musician, Dick Young, who wrote the words
along with the notes, and some chords he made up that sound
like... well... it is really best done as a sleazy lounge or
slow jazz tune (that is how I do it, anyhoo). The photocopy was
badly marred after years of mis-use and neglect, so I
transcribed the song a-new from the battered sheet music I had,
and present it to you, and, indeed, all of the Sideshow World
for your edification and amusement, and as a link to the
grandfathers of the current generation of Freak Showmen.
For all yáll horn players, I can
transpose the chart to Bb or any other key if needed - just
Dylan M. Blackthorn
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